he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
