FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
