do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
