i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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