somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
