i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
