he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
