The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
