you would pick up someone in the library
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
