i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its not stalking. its research.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
