Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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