You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
