I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
