You made me cry and you don't even care
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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