I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
