imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
