I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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