you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
