Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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