Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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