i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
