that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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