I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
