the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
