the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
