hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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