looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
