Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
