Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
