The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
