Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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