Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
