my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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