My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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