If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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