Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
