So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
