ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
