doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
