she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
