Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
