Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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