Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
