dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
