so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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