But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
