ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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