I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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