i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
