He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
