so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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